The world of Internet dating has spread throughout modern society faster than you can say Spanish flu. 20% of all relationships now start with the pressing of buttons and the clicking of mice and a swipe left, or is it right? Chatting to someone in a bar or meeting someone at a social event now seems incomplete if they don’t have a “like” or a “you’re my favourite” icon flashing above their carefully airbrushed head. We’ve resorted to ignoring all the intriguing personality quirks that make someone attractive with a simple swipe to the left or with the decisive click of a button, forever banishing them to the depths of the online dating trash bin. And who said romance was dead?
Once our most tanned and flattering photos from Benidorm 1994 have successfully run the gauntlet of rejection, we can find ourselves faced with the intriguing prospect of meeting the man or woman of our dreams. We head off on our date filled with optimism, positivity and curiously something else, a niggling, tickling sensation at the back of our minds that they’ll turn out to be a chicken farmer with a penchant for collecting belly button fluff. There really should be a category for that on Match!
The most common, sensible decision for a rendezvous is a coffee shop. Informal, relaxed, an easy escape route and fueled by caffeine it’s less unlikely that words will escape us. They may not be the right words, but at least there won’t be silence. The dreaded silence!
According to all the very clever psychologists, first impressions take around 7 seconds to form in our minds. Once formed they can be stubborn in nature, lingering around until we’ve proved our worth, maybe by rescuing a cat from a burning building or solving the worlds energy crisis.
In the absence of unfortunate felines or an in-depth knowledge of solar voltaic’s, we have to resort to much simpler measures. The way we look, our shoes, the way we carry ourselves, our tone of voice and according to Alan Hirsch MD & author of What’s Your Food Sign, what type of coffee we drink.
The research examined 18,631 men and women and found a strong correlation between our favourite type of coffee and our personalities. So, armed with the data and a healthy pinch of salt, here’s what you can learn about your potential chicken farmer from your first date and their choice of coffee.
Lovers of pure coffee with no frills or spills tend to be responsible, ambitious and aggressive. Hopefully not in a bad way! They are natural leaders who prefer to be judged on their accomplishments rather than how they go about achieving them. Apparently, they match well with chai tea drinkers who tend to be stressed, anxious and shy. An unfortunate generalisation that appears to weigh heavily on chai fans, but maybe black coffee drinkers with their responsible streak are just what they’re looking. A protective arm to ensure no harm comes to their endearingly shy nature. Black coffee drinkers probably do well at work and would be a suitable companion in a global apocalypse. No frills, just Bear Grylls style coffee, who probably only has milk if it can be squeezed from the teat of an unusually aggressive Rhino.
Latte drinkers tend to be indecisive, which begs the question how they can actually decide on their favourite type of coffee. They are laid back, calm and very supportive in a relationship. They take great care of others, often at the expense of themselves. If you’re a male Latte drinker, you’re probably in touch with your feminine side and visit your mother for Sunday lunch. No great concerns there, but if you’re searching for someone to take control and be all alpha male/female, then avoid Latte drinkers and make your retreat via the open bathroom window.
Café au Lait
While the above are generally laid black, people who prefer Café au Lait make Latte fans look Gordon Ramsey on a bad day.
Even the name Café au Lait implies sophistication and a general air of French people shrugging their nonchalant shoulders. You can find them in outdoor coffee shops, probably in Paris, wearing some form of a fanciful hat while softly smiling and slowly nodding their heads as they listen to the intricacies of your poultry business in Norfolk. Traditional values are of paramount importance and they will tend to pay for the meal. If you’re hungry and looking for sustenance, date a Café au Lait fan.
Who wouldn’t want to date a Cappuccino drinker! They are loving, caring and according to Mr Hirsch tend to put a lot of effort into their relationships. Cappuccino drinkers sound great. Be careful though, lovers of extra-foamy and frothy coffees are more likely to be obsessive and controlling. Anyone who prefers high-maintenance coffee preparation is more likely to be……well I think we’ll just leave it there.
People who drink Frappuccino’s are ambitious, energetic and probably have very big hair. They’re flamboyance can keep us entertained and they’re fun and exciting to be around. They match particularly well with level-headed café au lait drinkers who can bring them back down from the rafters and put them in check with a healthy dose of reality every now and again. So there you have it. Sweeping generalisations and the reinforcement of a number of stereotypes that will help you in the eternal search for love, commitment and a happy future. If they order tea then you’re on your own.